


I Dont Want To Feel Like This Anymore

by ShockSurprise



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 10:08:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3286388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShockSurprise/pseuds/ShockSurprise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a fluffy little story on what happens after the race that Haru stops in. ^-^</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Dont Want To Feel Like This Anymore

     

”This isnt how it was meant to be. I’m not meant to think like this. I swim free. And i am not free.”  
      _It felt like something was pulling him back. The water wasn’t welcoming. It was bitterly cold and aggressive. It felt like he was doing this no one but other people he honestly didn’t care about. He didn’t feel like he was doing it for himself. Or his friend carefully watching from the sidelines, cheering him on. He was doing it for the unknown people in the stands observing his every move. Waiting to come down and talk to him about his performance. And he never realized that he was doing if for them…..until right now. ___  
”What happened…?” Nagisa said quietly. Looking down on his friend who had slowed to a stop in the middle of the race to a total stand still.  
     ”Haru….” Makoto said quietly. He immediately turned on hs heels toward the stairs. He ran down the stands as fast as he could. Why did Haru stop? This wasn’t his. He has known something was wrong. But Haru seemd to just blow it off as it was nothing. And Mako didn’t think to much about it til now.  
     He quickly rounded the corner into the locker room and changing room. Quickly passing the lockers and stalls into the arena down below.      He looked around and quickly saw Haru in the center lane almost at the edge getting ready to leave the pool.  
     Makoto quickly ran over to the side of the pool where Haru was looking down into the water.  
     ”Haru….? What happen?” Makoto said quietly offering his hand out to Haru who was still staring down into the water.  
     Haru put his arm up limply and Mako took his hand helping the boy get out of the water. Once Haru had gotten up out of the water, still holding Makos hand he let go and quickly wrapped his arms around Makos waist.  
     Mako hesitantly put his arms around the slightly shorter boy. He could feel Harus cheek pressed against his shoulder.  
     ”Hey, its okay,” Mako spoke softly rubbing Makos back, his hand getting hit with water droplets every so often from Haru’s hair.  
     He felt Haru sharply breath in. “Its not okay. None of this is okay right now,” Haru said into Makos chest  
     ”Come on. Lets get out of the areana. Everyone is staring,” Mako said into Harus hair.  
     Haru released his arms from Mako and they turned to walk out of the areana, Mako keeping an arm around Harus shoulders.  
     The entire day Mako constantly asked Haru if he was okay. Haru quickly just said he was fine. He just had a weird thought and he stopped, telling him he would tell him later.  
     The entire day passed. The 4 boys winning 1st in the relay which qualified them for nationals. Everyone was exsauted from such a long day. They decided that tonight was just not the night for celebrating. They still had one night left in the hotel (that yes, did have a pool) so they went to their rooms, Mako and Haru in one, Rei and Nagisa in one, and then Kou and Ama-chan in the last.  
     As they went to their rooms saying thier good byes for the night Haru help his head low. Looking up fr just a split second to say goodbye to his friends.  
     Haru quickly slipped the key card into the door and waited for the little green light. He quickly pressed on the handle as soon as he saw it and walked it, holding the door open slightly longer for Makoto to get in also.  
     Haru shut the door and quickly went to his bed and fell face down on it and groaned.  
     ”You’re going to have to tell me what happen sometime…” Mako said quietly sitting on Harus bed next to him.  
     ”Said who,” Haru mumbled into the pillow his face was happily buried into.  
     ”Come on Haru….” Mako said quietly.  
     Haru rolled over and sat up cross legged and sat next to Mako.  
     A small sniff echoed through the hotel room.  
     ”Hey hey hey, its okay Haru. Its going to be okay. Whatever is going on up there is going to be okay,” Mako said, wrapping his long arms around Haru.  
     ”I just, i don’t,” Haru deeply inhaled, ” I dont want to feel like this anymore.”  
     “Feel like what Haru?” Mako said, loosening his grip on Haru slightly to look at his tear stained face.  
     ”Like im doing all this for someone else. I swim for myself! For you! For Nagisa! For Rei!” Harus voice raised slightly. “For all of you. For my friends.” He says quieting at the end, his voice dissolving in the air.  
     Haru raising his own hand to rid his face of the tears that did manage to fall.  
     “Ill be fine. Im just confused. Ill be okay. Thank you Mako,” Haru says into Makos arm that is still wrapped around his.  
     He takes his own arm and folds them around Makos arm thats wrapped around his chest, hugging Makos arm to his own chest closer.  
     “Okay, if you say so i don’t want to push i’m just concerned. We all are,” Mako says quietly, releasing Haru from his grasp. Harus arms automatically releasing also. “So you’re okay for now?”  
     ”I think ill be good,” Haru says, Mako getting up to go to his own bed across from Harus.  
     Haru pulls back his covers on his bed. leaning were Mako was previously sat. He pulls them down and gets up and gets in between the covers.  
     He lays there for a while. Contemplating weather or not to say anything. Mako had done the same, pulling his sheets and getting into bed. Both of them still had their day cloths on. But were to exhausted to take them off and switch to pajamas. Mako had turned the lights off and opened the curtains to let the city lights in.  
     ”Hey, Mako?” Haru says quietly after a while. Hoping the boy was still up.  
“Yeah Haru?” Mako responds speaking quietly.  
“Can you promise me something?”  
“Depends what.”  
     “Promise me that you,”-Haru chokes up slightly, “that you arent going to leave me. After everything. Please dont leave.” Haru continues to look straight up. And lets the silence tears roll down his cheeks. He hears some shuffling and looks over to she Mako stood up next to him.  
     ”Move over you mermaid,” Mako says laughing slightly.  
     Haru moves over and allows Mako under the covers next to him.  
     Mako grabs Haru by the waist and pulls his toward him.  
     “Im not going anywhere. I promise.: Mako says. Kissing the smaller boys forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! This is kinda old and probably not edited very well!! SO sorry if it's absolute trash dude!!!  
> Comments and kudos are lovely!!
> 
> Tumblr~~ [ShockSurprise](https://www.shocksurprise.tumblr.com)!!  
> 


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